I am a Birth Mom.
If you are a Birth Mom, or if you are any part of the adoption triad, you know that in most cases, it's not usually an easy road to travel. It can be complex, scary, confusing and it can also be beautiful, rewarding and fulfilling if all parties involved are coming from a primarily healthy and loving place.
I placed my daughter in a private adoption in 1989. I arrived at that decision out of pure fear and desperation. I didn't have a strong support system and was completely alone in a new city. I had to "woman up" and focus. I had to get through the adoption and over to the other side where I would simply move on with my life.
It wasn't so easy for me. I was terrified.
I knew of no one who had gone before me to tell me what was going to happen and how I was going to feel. I was managing well enough, I felt great and was happy to be on this mission that I had undertaken, determined to be the best Birth Mom anyone had ever seen.
When I relinquished my daughter I thought I would be able to move on, deal with it, and "forget". I couldn't have been more unprepared for the journey that I was embarking upon. I cried for a solid month because although I had never given any thought to having children, the moment the hormones flooded over me, I unravelled. I wanted my baby back, as irrational as that was.
Thankfully, I had some trusted, sane friends around me who were able to patiently love and nurture me through that very challenging time. I was eventually able to see that for me, adoption was indeed the best plan after all.
I experienced a roller coaster of emotions over the following years. However through deep introspection, profound spiritual experiences, adventure, fitness, travel, yoga, meditation, reading, learning, loving, connecting and sharing, I have finally arrived at a place of peace, self-acceptance and understanding of my adoption experience and the choices that I made. I have been shown that in healing, we help ourselves. And in helping ourselves, we can better serve others and help them heal, which in turn, heals us to even deeper levels. And in connecting, we can not only heal ourselves, we can heal others simultaneously.
I hope to share with you my experience, wisdom, humor, passion, love and curiosity. And from you I only ask that whatever gifts you receive in your lives, that you consider paying it forward!